Been a decent amount of time.

Over a month since I've updated this jawn.
I was hustling to get my work finished and updated my art blog more often than this one, so I think that's good. I mostly just whine and be all depressed on this blog.
But that's fine; gotta unload somewhere. Rather here than on people.
I've been feeling much better lately mainly because I've finally gotten back to what I really love doing (as opposed to just drinking), which is reading YA and comics. I don't think I can ever get away from that, and I honestly don't see a reason to. I'm finally becoming comfortable once again in being in my own skin when it comes to things like that. I've always been comfortable with it, but for a couple of years... actually, from sophomore year of high school to junior year of college. That's more than a couple of years. Damn. Well, during that time I would just keep these obsessions to myself, or cast them aside in attempts to become passionate about something (i.e. fine art illustration type stuff and more intellectual type novels) only to find those things boring. Not all of it, of course. But it's not something I can see myself doing without becoming crazy and frustrated.

So I've bought and read the Hunger Games Trilogy, Uzumaki, a couple of Jeffrey Brown books, Far Arden, and then whatever else I'm probably forgetting I spent money on. And I feel confident that I belong in this world.

I've been doing a lot of thinking and planning in my head as to what I'd be doing a long comic on. I do a lot of comics about myself, or just funny things that happen with my friends, but I never used it as an outlet for the thing that makes me the craziest, which is relationships. Typical, of course, especially of a girl. But I think I have enough material and buried frustration for it to be good. And hopefully I can spin it enough so I can get the humor I love in there, even though some of the situations were totally fucking depressing for me. I don't know. I think I've spent so much time just thinking about it because I'm still working up the courage to just write it. It would mean me pointing out all of my faults, jealousies, second guesses, and cheats in addition to my idealistic and sentimental view of what could be. I cringe on the inside just thinking about it. I hate myself for being human, I hate myself for being a romantic, I hate myself for not accepting that romance is an option.
And this is what my generation is.

It would start at the end of Dan Leidy, which was the beginning of Joe, until now.

Fuck.

Older men, bondage, ex-wives, weddings, funerals, ex-boyfriends, cheats, break-ups, cats, dogs, jealousy, bitterness, drunken depression, smokey bars, quitting cigarettes and then starting and then quitting, etc. Everything you could ever need.

I have a lot of stuff to include.


I guess I will start it fairly soon and show it to Nicole as I go along. I don't think I could show it to anyone else until it's complete.

Then I get to vomit from nervousness and consider sending it to Top Shelf or something.

If it actually comes to fruition. Which is very likely at this point.