I've been slacking.

I am so tired and just want an actual break. I want an actual weekend where I don't have to worry. I want to have a week where every night I sleep at least 8 hours.

My theory has proved itself true; I've figured out the recent designs of the universe for myself as far as my 'love life'. For the past 3 months it's been a new man entering my life as an 'interest'. And I thought about it 2 weeks ago and then somehow some force of karma or chi or taboo or whatever somehow pulled out another guy out of nowhere.

I like him. I think he's cute and nice.
But I thought these things about the other guys and they all turned out awfully (except for Geoff, for which I am the asshole, but he's 28. I'm too young for him.)

I don't know why I do this.
I don't know why I should think anyone is either cute or nice.

But I don't want to be a wall and I want to have my heart back.

And so I will continue to set myself up for defeat.