I HAVE UPDATED MY ART BLOG


I saw a lot of sad Valentine faces today. Too many.
God damn it, this is it. As a Valentine's Day resolution, I will not allow myself to get fucked over anymore.

No more dealing with boys who are still in love with other girls.

No fucking on the first date. No casual fucking at all even; I'm honestly incapable. I need to be in a relationship for that. Sex is no magical thing, but it's very vulnerable. If the guy doesn't even know who I am, to allow him to have my body and not myself just makes me feel like a tool. Some kind of vessel. It makes me feel hollow and physically ill.

No more booty calls; this part applies to actual "friends" that are boys that like to call themselves "good friends" when really they have no idea who I really am even though we're friends on a basic level. Fuck that shit. You people have no idea what you're getting into. No freakin clue. I'm fucking fragile and sometimes insane. Most of the guys I know are too normal to even understand or WANT to understand how to deal with that.

And lastly,
No more pursuit.

From now on, I'm not the one sticking my neck out there. Not until I'm entirely comfortable that the guy isn't just some fucker (literally). I don't deserve that. I never did. Why I let myself get fucked over so often, god fucking knows. I had way too much faith.

Happy Chinese New Year.