I cannot remember things often and it can be kind of scary.
I started really forgetting stuff around senior year of high school... Like friends names who I've known for 4 years even though I'm looking right at them.
I'll remember once I'm reminded.

But for some reason I don't remember a lot on my own.
I know I can never be very smart after this age because I am incapable of retaining things for the most part.
Even songs I listen to a thousand times I can't remember the words to.

I'll be done watching a movie with Stephanie, and then she'll make a reference to it, and then I'll say, "What?"
And I honestly have no idea what she is talking about.
I'm not stupid, really.

I just don't remember a lot.

I wonder if that's how things will end. I'll get Alzheimer's disease and my past life will be nothing to me.

I don't know whether to be upset about this or not.

My dad says to get on a regular sleeping schedule, eat foods with antioxidants, and cut down dairy.
Guuuuhhhh.

Maybe this is why I write diary style.
I don't remember how I am unless if it's in front of me.


And I'm okay with being that girl who's around sometimes and doesn't say much in large social settings unless intoxicated.
[Man she's awkward.]

I'm also in this state where I don't think love exists and I'm not going to go look for it.
Everyone is a specter, it seems.