Upsetting dreams involving houses full of cockroaches, needing a hat at the beach, and dying.

My house back in Jersey full of skittering cockroaches to the point in which I and my family were terrified. My dad and Joanna were going to stay at a motel or something while I was going to go down the block and sleep over at Mark's. I kept calling and he didn't pick up, so I was stuck with the breathing house.

In the ocean at the beach; it was a beautiful day but somehow I felt me and the other girls I was with were getting lost in the ocean. It was surprisingly warm. I got out at a certain point and went to get a hat, and Giguere was there telling us not to drink too fast. I was about to go buy beer when Kaminski came up with a top hat half full of alcohol, and Guiguere yelled at him for drinking too fast. I couldn't find a hat to buy.

Brief mini dream where I'm at a high school that I had fabricated-- I've been to this fabricated high school a few times in my dreams. I missed my classes for that day. Boring dream.

I died somehow and then just wandered around as my apparition self, crying over how I had died, how I would see the people I loved move on without me and without even acting as if they remembered me. I was able to communicate with a few people, however. I talked to Miguel through a letter and whoever I touched got some kind of chill and knowledge that I was around.
I wish I knew how I had died. I think I was still in the high school. 36 days you are stuck in limbo (the human realm) until you ascend to the next plane. Or that's what my dead self believed.

There was a bit more to this, but I know what eyes pry here. And I also know my own issues.

This was the most upsetting of all my dreams last night, and the most realistic. Whenever I dream that I am dead, I always expect to continue being dead when I wake up. So, I honestly thought I was dead for a second while conscious.

I don't know what to think.

April 7th has passed, Justin would have been 20.
Here's to remembering.