Lately this place has just been my agenda, or a project.
Which is kind of lame. Even though this is my sketchblog, this is also my blogging blog because I abandoned my livejournal so ong ago. I feel a sketchblog should be more than just sketches; it should be the thought process.
How do people think?
How did Dali think? How did Picasso think? How do you think vs. How do I think?
How similar are we?
I don't really know, but my head has been reeling with chemical juices lately; the overabundance. Or is it the underabundance? Surplus vs. scarcity-- I wonder what the effects are. I'll tell you one. It's damn cold in here.
I haven't been getting much sleep. My stye really messed my mind up lately because of the headaches it gave me-- it pushed my eye which pushed my brain which stirred up my sleep and perspective and abilities.
When I don't have sleep, I don't have functioning creativity. It can be cured sometimes with some good coffee. When I don't have sleep for long periods of time, I go insane. For real. Laugh for no reason until I cry. Right.

We were talking about body image on Friday, and it is true. Because I am not skinny enough, according to the media, according to what our society has set up for its young women, I feel as if I am not good enough. I remember everything.
I may not remember your name, but I will remember your face.
I remember what you did.
I remember what you said.
I remember what I thought.
Every insult, every time I was called fat in my life, or ugly, or stupid, or dirty or gay or anything at all ever... I remember. And I carry it with me. And I blame myself with these things. Because s/he said this, is it true?
I just sighed.
Is this why I am alone with myself?

It is not bad, to be alone with yourself.
It is just that sometimes. It is lonely. But at least you know who you are, right?
But it is nice to know others. It is nice to like yourself and feel you are right.
It is nice to know the opposite sex is attracted to you.

P.S. Next post promises art.