I don't really feel like sleeping, so I'll update here.

My mind has been like mud. Thick mud. Clay, maybe. There are too many things to do and not enough time and energy to do them. I have no time for friends. I shouldn't really be sleeping sometimes. I don't even have time for family.
My life right now is midterms and college shit. I am so close to applying-- my rec. letter is coming through the mail and Mr. Thomas said he'd have a letter for me this week.
I have to write 10 more pages for my memoir tomorrow and then make a cover and also work on my pottery shit-- 3 mugs and a bowl thing. Luckily I'm only scheduled to work 2 days this week. I don't think I'll study for anything for midterms. Also I have to work on the mural sometime this week and help get it done or else the school's going to shut down the Art Honors Society.

Which, might I add, is totally fucked up. We are HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS with JOBS and HOMEWORK and OTHER RESPONISBILITIES. Not only that, but it is FREEZING outside. How do they expect the paint to work? I was out there on Saturday when it was 27 degrees with 3 sweaters and a hoodie on and a scarf and gloves and it was STILL freezing... and the paint was freezing so it became all sticky and tacky and completely unworkable. If we don't finish this thing in time, it's like taking away a sports team when they don't win a game. Our school has such little respect for the arts it makes me sick. And also, if they shut us down if we're not finished, we're not GOING to finish. Fuck them. If they want it done so bad, they can let us have our society in peace. They always hold shit over our heads. I'm so angry with them. Fucking Dr. Denholm. That's the lady who is The Man.

I'm really upset with life lately. I have no crushes. They tire me. Waste of emotions that aren't reciprocated. I have to get a stye scraped from my eye. Oh, did I tell you all? They're going to put a needle in my eye and then cut open a part on my eyelid. Awesome. I have no time. I haven't hung out with friends in forever, not including my time at the gym. That is the only good time right now. The time at the gym.
Once my fucking college stuff is done and midterms are done, I should be okay... This won't be until mid February... Also, I'll be taking classes at Moore at that time!


But I'm really stressed. I must submit my SVA application by February 1st. That gives me 9 days. Oh my god. I need the school to process that shit fast. Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm freaking out. I want to go to SVA. I want to have choices. I want to go to UArts too, but SVA and alumni and Yuko Shimizu and MICA is hard and I'm going to cry or something. I understand now why seniors were so stressed out last year.